So I opened this blog a long time ago. I thought it would be a good outlet to record my thoughts. I suppose in order for that to work I need to actually write something in it, heh. I’ve opened it up many times over the past year, and every time it would sit there, mocking me with its wide open space. I just have no idea where to start. There’s so much I need to say, but it all sits jumbled together in my head, with no beginning and no end. I think I’m ready now. I already have a post or two written; I just wanted to start with a bit of an introduction, so that anyone who happens to read this can have some idea of who I am, where I come from – a small grasp on the events in my life that have led me here.
First, while some are still paying attention, I want to point out that I don’t intend on sugar-coating anything. There have been points in my life where I’ve made poor choices that some may disagree with, but they were the only choices I felt I had at the time. I also, at times, tend to have a slightly dark sense of humor. If these things might offend you, I’m sure you know how to work the little buttons on your browser to navigate away from the page. I’m not here looking for approval – acceptance maybe, but not approval. I’m not out to impress anyone, I’m just here to talk.
Hopefully, in due time once I find my voice, I’ll be able to write the way I know I can, and some people will be able to enjoy that. For now, though, don’t expect any literary genius. It’s been too long since I was free to write anything to expect greatness; mediocrity will have to do for now.
Yes, I’m stalling. I still don’t know how to explain, well…me. Guess I’ll just start slow.
I’m a mom. I have a beautiful daughter who is almost three and lights up my life every single day. I also have a 9-year-old son. He lives with his dad and I haven’t been able to see him in 5 years. Long story – I’m sure you’ll hear all about it at some point.
I’m the youngest of four children. My parents and oldest brother all passed away within a year of each other quite a few years back. I don’t keep in touch with my other brother and sister. Basically, we get together for weddings and funerals, and with any luck there won’t be any more of the latter for awhile.
I’m a survivor of severe domestic abuse, in more forms than one. I got out after a few false starts two years ago. At the time, I didn’t know how bad it was – I just knew I wasn’t happy. Once I removed myself from the situation and spent a good 8 or 9 months burying myself in an alternate reality, I finally stopped to look back. I had dissociated myself from the situation; coped by pretending that it wasn’t me all those things had happened to. Basically, I had watched my own life unfold as if I were watching a documentary about someone else. Once reality hit me, it suddenly became a long hard road to making myself whole again. I’m still not there, but I’m making huge strides. I battle the after-effects every day in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’ve spent the past year learning more about myself than I ever thought possible.
Most of the help I’ve received in learning to live again has been from various internet resources, including about a dozen blogs that I’ve followed in my feedreader religiously. It’s been an enormous comfort to know that there are people everywhere who face the same struggles that I do, and to watch them progress on their journeys has given me so much strength. Hopefully, someday, someone will be able to say the same about this blog. Even if it’s just one person, it’ll be worth it.
First, while some are still paying attention, I want to point out that I don’t intend on sugar-coating anything. There have been points in my life where I’ve made poor choices that some may disagree with, but they were the only choices I felt I had at the time. I also, at times, tend to have a slightly dark sense of humor. If these things might offend you, I’m sure you know how to work the little buttons on your browser to navigate away from the page. I’m not here looking for approval – acceptance maybe, but not approval. I’m not out to impress anyone, I’m just here to talk.
Hopefully, in due time once I find my voice, I’ll be able to write the way I know I can, and some people will be able to enjoy that. For now, though, don’t expect any literary genius. It’s been too long since I was free to write anything to expect greatness; mediocrity will have to do for now.
Yes, I’m stalling. I still don’t know how to explain, well…me. Guess I’ll just start slow.
I’m a mom. I have a beautiful daughter who is almost three and lights up my life every single day. I also have a 9-year-old son. He lives with his dad and I haven’t been able to see him in 5 years. Long story – I’m sure you’ll hear all about it at some point.
I’m the youngest of four children. My parents and oldest brother all passed away within a year of each other quite a few years back. I don’t keep in touch with my other brother and sister. Basically, we get together for weddings and funerals, and with any luck there won’t be any more of the latter for awhile.
I’m a survivor of severe domestic abuse, in more forms than one. I got out after a few false starts two years ago. At the time, I didn’t know how bad it was – I just knew I wasn’t happy. Once I removed myself from the situation and spent a good 8 or 9 months burying myself in an alternate reality, I finally stopped to look back. I had dissociated myself from the situation; coped by pretending that it wasn’t me all those things had happened to. Basically, I had watched my own life unfold as if I were watching a documentary about someone else. Once reality hit me, it suddenly became a long hard road to making myself whole again. I’m still not there, but I’m making huge strides. I battle the after-effects every day in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’ve spent the past year learning more about myself than I ever thought possible.
Most of the help I’ve received in learning to live again has been from various internet resources, including about a dozen blogs that I’ve followed in my feedreader religiously. It’s been an enormous comfort to know that there are people everywhere who face the same struggles that I do, and to watch them progress on their journeys has given me so much strength. Hopefully, someday, someone will be able to say the same about this blog. Even if it’s just one person, it’ll be worth it.
1 comment:
Some of us can only imagine what you have heard seen and felt...I have never been prouder of you and how far you have come...I cant wait to read more and I love you...(now to try and find some inspiring words and storys that may make me feel not so alone as well)
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